Monday, November 01, 2010

A Not-Paid Political Announcement - Guest Editorial Post


My sometime-collaborator, Michael Reaves, has, for good and sundry reasons, allowed his blog to lapse. But he had something about the mid-term elections he wanted to put forth, and so -- even though I never get into politics myself, as long-time readers all know -- I am giving him the space for a guest editorial. His opinion does not necessarily reflect those of this station, nor its employees -- well, except that it kinda does ...


Here it is:


"If things go the way it appears they will this Tuesday, we are, all of us, royally, painfully, mind-numbingly fucked. Without soap, without a cushion for the sawhorse, without even the cold comfort of a reach-around.

I am deeply puzzled by the actions of the Republicans (including the tea party, birthers, and others who usually don't leave the  house without wearing their trusty tinfoil fedoras). What's wrong with you people? I mean, there's not playing well with others, and then there's stalking onto the playground with a militia strapped beneath your black leather duster, screaming "SEE YOU IN HELL!!!" and proceeding from there. This is usually known, in terms of  The Hero's Journey, as the Path Of the Raving Loony. It is the path most of you have apparently chosen, albeit on a slightly more sophisticated level. But only slightly.

Listen up, all you Neanderthals in three-piece suits: a democracy is founded on informed consent -- a concept most, if not all, of you are having more trouble with than a hunchbacked lab assistant trying to remember if Doctor Frankenstein told him "Brain A " or "Brain B". "Informed" consent is not "unformed" consent. What difference a vowel makes.

Look, I'm going to take it as a given that you have your reasons - and they probably even make sense - to you. I also know that you people see conspiracies everywhere (and the really scary part? These are the relatively normal ones I'm talking to now.) But seriously - I gotta ask: What the fuck is wrong with you people? Even though it's typical of you folks to see everything and everyone in black-and-white starker than film noir, please try to hear me when I say that there are subtleties and hidden agendas when even just two people get together. With 300 million? There are more.

But 'tis all to no avail. The hollow-eyed, stone-faced multitude makes the typical computer-augmented hordes of Undead zombies swelling the local multiplex seem about as terrifying as multiple clones of Fred Rogers, sans sweater. They are Republicans; until recently cast into Lovecraftian Outer Darkness, they have clawed their way back into the coveted center once more. Their sheer, True Grit-style indomitable determination is something the Democrats not only do not understand but cannot understand. The Dems, it must be said, have backbones of pliable plastic at best, like a lab replica, while the Republicans have spines sheathed, Wolverine-like, in pure indestructible admantadine. The only problem, of course, is that it sheathes their brains as well. They are Republicans; fear them."



We now return you to your regularly-scheduled programming.


And agree or not, if you aren't in a mail-t0-vote state and your ballot already in, do exercise your constitutional right to be part of the process, however flawed, come Tuesday. It is your right and your duty as a citizen. If you don't vote, you don't get to bitch.

16 comments:

Telpereon C. Arbor said...

To the last part - Here! Here! Do Vote - It is your right and privilege. Exercise it!

Dojo Rat said...

The echo reverberates in the halls at Dojo Rat...

Bill said...

This makes just about as much sense as Obama saying a car has r for reverse and d for drive and therefore you should be a Democrat to move forward

Anonymous said...

Quiet, you. I'm sipping my slurpee.

Bobbe Edmonds said...

Thick as Thieves, serving America on November 2nd by voting.

Travis said...

I'm actually for fewer of the stupid and ignorant voting rather then more.

Steve Perry said...

Well, at the risk of self-aggrandizment, Trav, I think we can safely say the stupid and ignorant don't drop round here much. If you are bright enough to keep up with the conversation, even if we completely disagree on the matter at hand? At least you probably have the wherewithal to have come to your choice honestly.

Travis said...

Yeah, after I typed it I thought, "hey, I should have added a disclaimer that the comment wasn't directed at people here."

In the major elections I actually think that the stupid and ignorant for choice A pretty much equalize with the stupid and ignorant for choice B. My biggest problem is being in a ballot measure state and the crap people go for on those.

But as a general policy statement I'm firmly against "get out the vote" movements.If people don't care enough to WANT to vote I don't want them voting.

Stan said...

Bravo!

Jim said...

While I may disagree with the rest of it -- I'm in 100% agreement with your last sentence. No vote, no bitching!

Personally, I'm kind of tempted to vote nutbar radical fringe independent... or just start writing in unique choices. Neither party is impressing me lately very much... or even making me think they remember that they're supposed to be "government of the people, by the people, for the people."

Joe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joe said...

The right wing has been brilliant in getting it's message out. All the problems that people are having - the left caused them. Tired of paying taxes, the left raised them. They even claim God is on their side, and a large portion of the faithful go along. The Dems have not bothered to get their butts into the fight. They (we) don't seem to realize that an insult that goes unanswered is taken as a sign of weakness, not maturity. That was true on the gradeschool playground, and it's every bit as true in the White House. If you don't stand up to the bully, he will continue to target you. I don't know how bad this election will hurt, but it was totally unnecessary, and we can only blame ourselves

Stan said...

You're right, Joe. The "problem" with democratic elections is that we will only get the government we deserve, if even that.
There's no "magic formula" that suddenly transforms marginal performers... or outright insane candidates (like in my state...) into patriotic public servants, dedicated to work together for the betterment of all citizens.
In today's political game, the average voter is guided by soundbites and fear-mongering.
Today, the "talking heads" are more important than the actual candidates and their vitriolic, "what your country will do TO you" rants drive the "willing ignorant" into a fear-fed frenzy solely to drown the voice of reason, civilized debate and intelligent planning for the nation's needs and best interests.

To misquote Pogo, "We have seen the ignorant and he is us."

Tony Muhlenkamp said...

I drop around here every day because I'm a fan of martial arts, science fiction, and political discourse.

I'm not sure I get the point of Mr. Reaves post; other than to call me an unthinking, closed minded, brain dead zombie. It doesn't really encourage me to engage in reasoned debate. What am I supposed to do with it?

Steve Perry said...

It's what it is, Tony -- Michael's opinion. You don't have to agree with it, but if you want to make a point on the other side, that's up to you.

Of course, nobody wins debates about politics, abortion, gun control or best beer.

Bobbe Edmonds said...

Well, of course not. There's Chimay...What the hell are you planning to argue with - Budweiser?