What is it about the Christmas season that turns the drivers on my streets into looney tunes?
I had to go out today and it was as though somebody had opened the doors to the insane asylum, gave the departing inmates random sets of car keys as they left, and told them to go crazy.
And they did: Hey, Mabel -- What does this pedal do? Huh! Look at that! How about this here lever ... ?
I have a small and nimble automobile. I elect defensive paranoia as my operating mode when I am on the road -- I believe they are all out to get me, and I win if I get home alive and not too dinged up.
Today, they almost got me. People turned into a shopping center driveway and then stopped when there was no reason I could see, blocking traffic into the street.
I got behind somebody who apparently thought it was okay to read War and Peace on his iPhone at a traffic light. Who, after sitting through the green, looked up pissed off when I honked at him.
People pulled out in front of me in a 45 mph zone and drove at 23 mph in the speed lane.
One woman ran a red light ten seconds after it had changed and two cars ahead of me had already crossed the intersection, and missed me by a couple inches.
We won't even speak of trying to walk across a store's parking lot, of which I spoke at some length a few years back
All in the space of forty-five minutes.
Mad! They are all as mad as hatters, I tell you!