Friday, November 27, 2009


My aunt sent me this one, and I liked it:

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,

'Jesus knows you're here.'

He nearly jumped out of his skin. He clicked his flashlight off, and froze.

When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head and continued.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard:

'Jesus is watching you.'

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.

Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

'Did you say that?'

'Yep', the parrot confessed. 'I'm just trying to warn you that Jesus is watching you.'

The burglar relaxed.
'Warn me, huh? Who are you?'

'Moses,' replied the bird.

'Moses?' The burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird "Moses?"'

'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler "Jesus ..."'


Steve said...

I was doing a building search in a huge house (you know, the kind you'll never be able to afford) after finding an open door on a burglar alarm. As I clear a room, a voice from a dark corner says " Hey, whatcha' doin'? ". I whirled and drew a bead on the....macaw. Huge bird in a massive cage. I'm glad I didn't pull the trigger for two reasons 1) I'm an animal lover and 2) that's a VERY long memo.

jks9199 said...

I nearly shot a cardboard cutout...

Similar circumstances; building search on an alarm call. Came around a corner, saw a guy standing there. Challenged him... no response. Repeated the challenge... Still no response. Finally got good look at him in the flashlight... And while there are rumors, last I heard, The King had left building some years back!

Tiel Aisha Ansari said...

Hey Edwin, tell them the one about the dog...

Edwin Voskamp said...

Ummm, which one? The one about the dog who ate the burglar? Or the dog that got some extra training time on the side? The police dog that was smarter than its trainer? Which?