Monday, July 25, 2011

Tales of the Zombie Apocalypse

From Xfinity News, by Nastaya Tay, of the AP:

JOHANNESBURG—A South African man awoke to find himself in a morgue fridge—nearly a day after his family thought he had died, a health official said Monday.
Health department spokesman Sizwe Kupelo said the man awoke Sunday afternoon, 21 hours after his family called in an undertaker who sent him to the morgue after an asthma attack.
Morgue owner Ayanda Maqolo said he sent his driver to collect the body shortly after the family reported the death. Maqolo said he thought the man was around 80 years old.
"When he got there, the driver examined the body, checked his pulse, looked for a heartbeat, but there was nothing," Maqolo told the Associated Press.
But a day after staff put the body into a locked refrigerated compartment, morgue workers heard someone shouting for help. They thought it was a ghost, the morgue owner said.
"I couldn't believe it!" Maqolo said. "I was also scared. But they are my employees and I had to show them I wasn't scared, so I called the police."
After police arrived, the group entered the morgue together.
"I was glad they had their firearms, in case something wanted to fight with us," Maqolo said.
He said the man was pale when they pulled him out.
"He asked, 'How did I get here?'" Maqolo said.
The health department said the man was then taken to a nearby hospital for observation and later discharged by doctors who deemed him stable.
Kupelo, the health department spokesman, urged South Africans to call on health officials to confirm that their relatives are really dead.
The man's family was informed that he was alive during a family meeting convened to make funeral arrangements. They're very happy to have him home, Maqolo said.
But Maqolo said he is still trying to recover from the traumatic experience ...
(I particularly liked this line: "Kupelo, the health department spokesman, urged South Africans to call on health officials to confirm that their relatives are really dead."

Really? Well, you know, the driver, said he was dead ...

Also that he was glad the cops came with their guns. Right. A gun is going to help if you have a ghost in the fridge ...

Years ago, when I worked at the clinic, we had a home care nurse call in about one of our patients, a woman who had been bed-bound with MS for years. "She's passed," the nurse told our receptionist.

In order for somebody to be declared legally dead in Louisiana, it takes a doctor to sign the paperwork. And since I was the PA-C and our doctors were up to their eyeballs in flu patients, I got sent to confirm the death. 

So I arrived, was admitted, went in to look at the corpse, whereupon the dead woman opened her eyes and looked at me and said, "What are you doing here?"

Apparently my Jesus-bringing-Lazarus-back imitation–though I didn't say that.

It was pretty funny around the office for a couple days. "Somebody die at the hospital? Send Perry, maybe he can resurrect 'em ...

1 comment:

Ed said...

Good thing the guy didn't have a heart attack and die in the closed space....the morgue workers not opening the locked refrigerated compartment right away to check is beyond terrible....I hope when I go down it is for waking up in the morgue or oven. That's why when I go I want to be carted off to Central or Eastern Oregon and left out in the open....let the varmints get some use out of me....and if I wake up I can hoof it out....please leave some clothes, water and matches next to me just in case - ha.