For those of you who have plans this weekend, might put them on hold and stock up on toilet paper and water and granola bars and all–it seems that The Rapture is upon us, apparently scheduled for Saturday.
Check your local listings for the exact time in your area.
If you are unfamiliar with the concept of The Rapture, the short version: All the good Christians are going to be lifted up into Heaven, to avoid what the Anti-Christ is going to do to the rest of us:
"... and the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord."
(1 Thess 4)
Better leave some extra food out for the cat and dog if you are among the Chosen ascending Saturday–they don't get to go–or get one of your not-so-good Christian friends, or a Buddhist to drop round and feed them before the rain of fire and brimstone and all:
"But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night, in which the heavens will pass away with a great noise, and the elements will melt with fervent heat; both the earth and the works that are in it will be burned up.
"Therefore, since all these things will be dissolved, what manner of persons ought you to be in holy conduct and godliness, looking for and hastening the coming of the day of God, because of which the heavens will be dissolved, being on fire, and the elements will melt with fervent heat?"
"Therefore, since all these things will be dissolved, what manner of persons ought you to be in holy conduct and godliness, looking for and hastening the coming of the day of God, because of which the heavens will be dissolved, being on fire, and the elements will melt with fervent heat?"
(II Peter 3:10-1)
Probably won't do Fluffy and Spot much good to leave the AC on ...
Just so you know ...
And no, I'm not making fun of Christians–I'm making fun of looney tunes radio preachers who have it on Good Authority that the End is Upon Us. If I'm wrong, I'll apologize to the unworthy come Sunday while I'm out looking for Coppertone with SPF 2,000,000 ...
6 comments:
I'll be here Sunday. Gotta work. Besides, I'm one of those heathen Buddhists.
An athiest group in Houston is hosting a Rapture Party that night. Would love to go, except I have to get up and fly the next day.
My captcha is pranki.
What?! The movie said the world wasn't ending till next year. Man, that's the last time I trust Hollywood for scheduling my lifeplan. I guess we'll see how well living in AZ has prepared me for this.
So I take it you'll be using the airplane for your flight?
Ha! As to point #1, I guess you missed this:
http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/
Find a need and fill it, that's the spirit of American business. I wonder if there are services for mowing the lawn, bringing the garbage cans back in, or turning off the sprinklers?
Yeah, be using the plane. FLying out on Sunday so no worry about the pilot being caught up in the rapture while we're in flight.
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