Friday, May 23, 2008

PT

The Hell panel, from Heironymous Bosch's The Garden of Earthly Delights

PT doesn't stand for "physical therapy," but rather, I have discovered, "preternatural torture."

I wouldn't have thought it possible to completely exhaust my entire upper body in a mere thirty-minute session, but, boy, was I wrong. See, you can't really get full range-of-motion for the shoulders without using the chest and arm and other back muscles, plus the PT guy wanted to make sure I got some low back work, so there were the hyperextensions, while doing flyes ...

Just to see, I started counting during the rubber band reps. After I got to a hundred, I quit, it was depressing me.

My torturer -- er, therapist -- added some new stuff this go-round, including a down-on-one-knee-throwing-the-two-kilogram-ball-
at-the-mini-tramp-using-the-whole-body that gives new meaning to the word "awkward."

Hey, you're doing pretty good. You want to use a heavier ball?

Whatever you think, I said. I'm just the victim here.

At one point, when my arms melted and fell off, clunking onto the floor, no blood because the wounds were internally-cauterized, he said, "You feeling the burn? I can lower the table a little."

If I'd had control of my hands, I'd have given him the finger. Well, if I could have moved my finger ...

I did ask about Steve VH's "tool." And after I heard what that was and what it did, I was glad I didn't seem to have any scar tissue that would justify it. It sounded like a cross between an electric butter knife and bamboo slivers under the fingernails ...

Remind me not to screw up my rotator cuff again, hey?

4 comments:

AF1 said...

Sounds like some good ideas for a workout regimen, for when you get hale and hearty again Steve! ;)

Steve Perry said...

Yeah, if the PT doesn't kill me, it should make me stronger. One more session next week. Terrible when you have to work out to get in shape to go see your physical therapist ...

steve-vh said...

"If I had no scar tissue, I'd have no tissue at all".
My first series lasted 11 months, doing exercised 3x a day.
And after a 3 month lapse went back to the well for 8 more visits ending this week.

Wimp.

Steve Perry said...

Scar tissue, you say? Pah!

I've jammed my thumb so many times that I can sprain it taking my socks off. Have done so. I squat, people duck because my knees sound like pistols going off. I move at a speed makes glaciers look like Flo Jo out of the blocks ...

Any pictures you ever see of me in class, doing a demo, or on Guru Stevan's vids, look at my hands. I have an online account with Drugstore.com for Nexcare's foam tape, I buy it by the box ...

Just 'cause I'm not a masochist like some folks who like pain -- "Oooh, do it again, it hurts so good!" doesn't mean I haven't been down that road a time or three ...

Keep your high-tech torture devices. I do it the old fashioned way. I go back again this week, at which time even if it is killing me, I am going to swear it feels great.