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Water Tower, Ypsilanti, Michigan

So, I was huddled in front of my fireplace, watching TV when the latest Viagra commercial came on. Featured a bald guy in a vanilla car, ho hum, until once day he showed up on a big honkin' motorcyle, with Viva Viagra playing the in the b.g., to the tune of Elvis's Viva Las Vegas.

Don't let LD get you down. (Limp Dick ...) Take that little blue pill ...

At the end of drug commercials, it has been mandated that the fine print be read aloud, side-effects and odd symptoms. The most famous in the Viagra/Cialis realm is, of course, the four-hour woody. "If you should have an erection lasting more than four hours, you should call your doctor."

Yeah. After you call the circus and every girlfriend you ever had, and then offer to serve as a springboard on the vault for women's gymnastic team ...

This one is such a howler, even though priapism can be very serious, involving gangrene and like that, that you miss the next two: "If you notice a sudden decrease in hearing or vision, you should also call your doctor."

Right. You go deaf and blind. Assuming you can find your way to the telephone and punch in the number, how are you gonna know if anybody answers? Can't see, can't hear, but got wood.

Some trade ...