So, the Portland Trailblazers played the L.A. Lakers last night. Second time this season. Portland beat L.A. at home the first game, but last night?
O last night!
Dan Moran is a Lakers fan. Yesterday before the game, I gave him some shit about the Lakers being beaten by bad teams ...
Portland did not, um, do well last evening, no, they did not.
Dan and I exchanged emails this morning. Here's the gist:
"Watching the Lakers get beat by bad teams is a little rough, I admit. But even in a down year there are compensations -- just yesterday, the Lakers played this one team? The score was 37-7 at the nine minute mark of the second quarter. That means, this other team I'm talking about, they scored seven points in a little more than 15 minutes of game time -- about .46 points per minute over that 15 minute stretch, which might not be a record but probably should be. It was really even worse than that because these guys, they hit a 3 to start the game? So then they got outscored 37-4 ... that sort of stuff must make their fans' testicles shrivel a bit.
Boy, I'm glad I'm a Lakers fan."
"Lowest first quarter in the franchise history. Lowest halftime score this year. (At the half, I went to Safeway and got a dozen paper bags, cut out eyeholes, and Federal Expressed them to L.A., so the Blazers could sneak home without getting tarred and feathered. Almost had to get a new TV, too, from throwing remotes at mine. Scared the dogs to hear me calling out the names of the Lord and His Son, and adding in an anglo-saxon middle name to junior's monicker.)
I should have known better than to say anything to you about the Lakers. Worst way to jinx a foul shooter is to allow how good he is when he gets to the line. Steve Nash is up, and he never misses a -- oops, would you look at that?
Seven fucking points. From guys getting paid tens of millions of dollars a year to play a game. A junior high girls team could have gotten seven points, using bricks. Jesus, Buddha, and Mohammad all wept. I might take up watching golf. "
It was a rough night to be a Blazers fan. And these guys are going to have to live with that record. "Hey, a terrible night for the ___________." says the first announcer.
"Yeah, but nothing like that Blazer game with L.A. back in 2012, is it ... ?"