Courtesy of Skeifer, on the rec.music. makers.guitar.acoustic newsgroup:
A musician who has spent his entire life trying to get a record deal is extremely depressed. He's been turned down by every record company he's ever contacted. No one seems to recognize his unique genius.
So he comes up with an ingenious plan to get back at the record companies who have rejected him all his life.
He books time at a recording studio and instructs the sound engineer to record everything he says, and every sound he hears, and then copy it all onto five hundred CDs, and send one to every record company executive on the list that he hands the engineer.
The guy walks into the vocal booth. The red light is on, and he begins:
"This is a message for all you sycophantic, no-talent, stupid record company assholes who've ignored me all these years! I've dedicated my life to writing and performing beautiful, emotive, soul-touching music, and all you bastards do is discard my tapes and sign these
horrible, no-talent, ridiculous, stupid bands. Well, you bunch of morons, you dumb pricks, I've taken all I can of this puerile, shallow industry, and it's you who've driven me to this! Goodbye you heartless murderers of art!"
Whereupon, he puts a gun to his head and blows his brains out.
The sound engineer looks up from the console, hits the talk-back button, and says, "Okay. That's fine. I've got a good level. Let's go for one."