It had its moments.
Stallone apparently had enough sense this time to skip any attempt reality and make it into a full-out nostalgic cartoon, and on that level, I have to admit I had some fun.
Completely silly, and pretty much on a par with Wile E. Coyote and the Roadrunner–beep, beep!–but there you go.
Trampoline-fu fight scenes, a big part of the budget must have gone for artificial blood, and a whole lot of shit gets blowed up real good. Nobody on the other side can shoot worth a damn, and nobody on the old guys' side can miss.
Some funny lines: Listen early for when Bruce Willis talks about "Male-pattern badness ..."
Chuck Norris playing with the Norris-is-so-bad stuff, talking about the cobra that bit him.
Schwarzenegger and Willis riffing on famous lines from their movies at each other. It's no spoiler to reveal "Ah'll be back!" and "Yippie ki yay!" but there's some fun with those.
Even making fun of Couture's cauliflower ear at one point.
Van Damme chews enough scenery to choke a pod of toothed whales.
Probably most of the people who go to see this are going to be old enough to remember the action movies these guys were in, and the in-jokes are why you go.
They are all here: Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Willis, Norris, Lundgren, Li, with Statham, Randy Couture, Terry Crews, and a young sniper and kick-ass Chinese girl, neither of whom add much.
They are all in pretty good shape to look at, though interestingly enough, Ahnahl appears to be less so than the others.
Popcorn and a drink full of sugar, and have at it ...