Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Geek Patrol

Back in the day, a geek was a sideshow freak who, usually in a cage, looked fierce, and bit the heads off chickens, among other disgusting acts. The term has a somewhat different meaning today, think pocket protectors and thick horn-rimmed glasses and minds filled with minutiae. But they come in all kinds now, not just making straight A's in physics and chemistry and lacking all social skills. 

(Give yourself five points if you already knew the original definition of "geek.")

And the rest of the test:

1. If you know that "Frankenstein" is the name of the doctor who created it, but not the monster, give yourself five points. If you have ever corrected somebody who got it wrong, add five more points.

2. If you can speak a word of Klingon, add five points.

3. If you know Captain Kirk's middle name, add five points.

4. If you know Luke Skywalker's aunt and uncle's names, five points each.

5. The monologue opening to the old Adventures of Superman TV showTen points

6. Do you know who coined the term "sci-fi?" Ten points. If you know that the only proper use for it is in regard to a bad science fiction movie, and you have ever corrected a mundane for mis-use? Ten more points. (Five more points if you know what "mundane" means in this context.)

7. Five points if you know the words to "Freebird." Five more if you know how the band came by its name.

8. Who wrote "Diamonds and Rust?" Five points. Who the song is about? Five more points.

9. The caliber of Billy the Kid's Lightning Colt? Five points.   

10. If you never end a sentence in a preposition, five points. If you know what a preposition is? Five more.

11. You know who Pete Best was? Five points.

12. If somebody says they are into martial arts and you immediately ask them "What style?" five points. If you feel superior no matter what they say? Five more ...

The highest possible score is 120 points.( Except if you checked my math, in which case, add five more points to whatever you got.)

0-25 points, you aren't living in the same reality most geeks live in, you are more or less normal.

30-50 points, you are a borderline geek, but can pass for normal in most places. You can eat with your mouth closed, and you can have a social life, if you really want one. 

55-80 points, you are a serious geek, and most of your friends–if you have many–probably find you obnoxious when they can't avoid you.

85 and above, you probably don't have any friends who can communicate with you save by email, and when people see you coming, they leave the room, muttering, "Oh, crap, look who it is!"

For the record? I scored five points shy of the maximum ...


Bobbe Edmonds said...

I got 100. I didn't know anything about Pete Best, nor Diamonds and Rust. However, I have an extra credit question, worth about 5 points more.

What was the actual NAME of Frankenstein's creation? It's mentioned - by the creature himself - once in the book. No Googling. And my student Josh Faram is not eligible for this question, since he and I are Shelly fanatics & I know he knows this.

Steve Perry said...

My geekery grows.

I though it was a terrible book, by the by, when I first read it. The monster is, like Tarzan in the novels, much more articulate than Boris was in the thick shoes, but Shelly talks your ears off.

Ed said...

James Tiberius Kirk....or is it? In the episode #2 - Where No Man Has Gone Before - no, not about Ellen....The tombstone his best friend makes when godlike reads....James R Kirk. Maybe he has two middle names or maybe new godlike best friends don't remember well or their spelling goes in the crapper when engraving.

Steve Perry said...

Add ten more points to your score, Ed ...

Ed said...

I finally won something - hey, 10 points is 10 points....that darn lottery hasn't been working out and yes, I am playing for investment purposes.

Dan Gambiera said...

40 points. I am ashamed and will turn in my Geek Card