Thursday, October 08, 2009

Truth in Advertising

Last night, after watching the latest Masterpiece Mystery and Top Chef on the tube, I switched to the local late-night news. Came an ad for toothpaste. A new and improved! version of one that's been around a while, and to listen to the V.O. and watch the animation, this stuff is the best product since glow-in-the-dark condoms. (If you ever saw Skin Deep, with John Ritter, that fight between two men in the dark wearing glow-in-the-dark condoms? Unforgettable.)

Um, but back to toothpaste. So the new, improved! stuff will not only clean and disinfect your mouth, it will wax your car and change the cat's litter box, and fish Timmy out of the well, and Jeez, I need to get some of it, right now!

But just for fun, I got online and checked out Consumer Reports. Guess what? One whitening toothpaste is pretty much the same as another. None of them work particularly well, and the one that seems to do the best job with minimal abrasion is the old (and cheap) one, Ultrabrite.

The more things change, the more they stay the same ...

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