Wednesday, July 09, 2008
So, Wednesday is gun night on The Outdoor Channel, and aside from all the things that go boom! in many varieties, there are certain commercials you don't generally see elsewhere: Gun supplies, sportsman's catalogues, laser sights, like that.
But the one that is the real howler is for a "male-enhancement" product. A simple capsule, according to Dr. Stein, founder of the you-never-heard-of-it Stein Clinic, designed to increase the size of that ... certain male body part. As opposed to uncertain male body parts, one supposes.
It is, as Bugs Bunny is wont to say, to laugh.
The ad goes on. There are on-the-street interviews with some guys who are supposedly real users -- all hooked up with babes -- who all say, "What can I say? I got bigger!" One guy even got a "heck of a lot bigger!"
The babes all laugh. Except the last one, who can't decide whether to laugh or frown, so she does both. Obviously not a method actress.
None of these users are what you'd call the most masculine of fellows, and one wonders what this means, vis a vis the purported increase.
Itty-bitty doubled is still small.
Well, one doesn't really wonder about that part too much: 'Cause it doesn't work. The ingredients in this wonder drug are all things you can buy over the counter in any health food vitamin section, and there is no evidence at all that they make anything bigger, save the wallet of the guy selling them. Look here.
True, some of the herbs do have an effect on blood flow and all, but if you are an adult male, what you now have is what you'll continue to have. (Though I do recall a short and unsuccessful campaign to legalize a certain weed a few years back in which the rumor was put forth that marijuana makes your johnson grow. Have to wonder how many redneck hippie-haters thought about that one and decided to have a couple tokes, just to see.)
And the side effects of some of herbs in this particular weenie-expander can be worse than what they give in return -- yohimbe, for example. It does help, apparently, but the effective dose is very close to the toxic dose. Read about the toxicity and decide if it is worth it.
Cripes, if this stuff worked? If it made. Mr. Happy add an inch or two to length, or more importantly, girth, they wouldn't need to advertise it on The Outdoor Channel. They'd have to keep it in Fort Knox under guards with shoot-to-kill orders (and peckers of great size to avoid temptation to sample the product). You could charge a couple of car payments per pill, and the waiting line would go round the equator ...
What is more intriguing is that they advertise it on the gun shows. Got to wonder about what their, um, target audience is ...