Silly Song

Okay, now and then, the strangeness of my mind surprises even me. Yesterday, I had an appointment in the morning, about a twenty-minute drive from my house. Weather was nice, so I had the top partially opened on the Mini, which makes it loud enough so that listening to the radio is iffy. As I drove, a song popped into my head. Well, a line from a song, anyhow. And that was all my perverse brain needed ...

It was bordering on obscene, or at least tasteless, and I have no idea from whence it came, but I wrote a verse of it in my head as I drove, managed to get a line or so into the chorus.

Wrote the rest of the chorus on the way home, and the second verse when I got to the computer. 

Found a simple chord progression, and done. I haven't recorded it yet–not sure I am going to do that–and it's probably not safe for work, unless you are in the adult products industry, so if somebody is apt to read over your shoulder, maybe you want to leave now ...

Silly Song

C, Em, F, G:

1. Woke up this morning with a boner on me, didn't mean nothin' 'cept I had to go pee/
Sleeping all alone in a big old bed, ain't got no woman might as well be dead/
Went and got coffee, turned on the TV, home shopping channel and what did I see?
Silicone vagina and brand spankin' new; can do anything a real vagina can do.

Chorus: (F, G, F, G, C)

 Don't need a battery, one size fits all/put her in your backpack, take her to the mall/
Silicone vagina, hey, she's really first-rate/whole lot safer than an actual date/
Never gets pregnant, she never gets mean/ clean her up easy in your washing machine.

2. Now Silly and I we are truly in love, whole lot nicer than a vaseline glove/
We do it in the bedroom, we do in the car, we do it in the bathtub, we do it in a bar/
We do it everywhere, and let me tell you Mister, we do it in a three-way with her gorgeous twin sister!

(Chorus - repeat last line and out …)