Can I Get the Musical Sting from Our Man Flint?

So after burning tax records and old papers we didn't want to risk to the dumpster for several weeks, and creating mounds of ash in our fireplace, we finally broke down and got a paper shredder. Since we still have six large boxes of this dross, and we get a lot of mail with personal info we don't want some identity thief to glom onto, we figured we could justify a small machine.

I started doing research. Boy, howdy, there are scores of these things, ranging from cheapies you can practically get for free with a rebate, up to those that run several thousand bucks, and that produce atomic-sized bits Nostradamus couldn't reassemble with a team of obsessive-compulsive speed freaks stoked on crank.

We opted for a home-model from Costco that was less than a hundred bucks, on sale. Couldn't find a picture of the exact model, but they all look about the same, like a small trash basket with a fat lid.

This one will eat a dozen pages at a time, staples and small paper clips included, turn them into little confetti rectangles maybe a quarter-inch wide by an inch long, and it fits neatly under the roll top desk.

Very satisfying to my Virgo nature to feed a sheaf of paper into the slot, hear it go grrrrr and open it to see fodder for the next Rose Parade ...