We Interrupt This Program for a Special Bulletin!

Oh, no! Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are getting a divorce! Oh, oh, the ... humanity! Oh, woe, it's the end of days! It's–it's–!


Uh ... wait a minute. Let me rephrase that a little:


Who gives a sour owl poot? 


Is it because he's a Scientologist? Gay? Short? Too controlling? Leaves the toilet seat up?  None of the above? 


Unless you are him or her, if you spend more time than it took me to write this fretting about it, you need to get a life. Truly you do. 


We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.