Chuck Never Runs

I was reading over one of the lessons Rory and I did for the martial-arts-for-writers online class, and came across a reference I stuck in about the idea of unbeatable martial artists. I thought it might amuse some of my readers, so ...


I once wrote animation for the tube, and worked on a show that never made it, Chuck Norris’s Karate Kommandos. Mid-to-late eighties, as I recall. Reaves and I wrote a couple episodes, but the show, after a five-episode miniseries, didn't get picked up. We got paid, but our episodes weren't ever aired.


Such a terrible loss to humanity, that.


I had a scene in which Chuck’s ‘vette was trapped by bad guys who chainsawed and dropped trees onto the road. Chuck hops out and there are like eight of them. So Chuck–in my scenario–takes off, leads them on a merry chase, and slows now and then to take them out one-by-one. A strategic retreat leading to victory.

Came the notes from the producer on the script:

Chuck never runs.

I laughed. Yeah. And Chuck is gonna be pushing up the daisies if he doesn’t. Those movie face-offs with ten guys only work because each guy takes a number and waits his turn to attack.

I got around it, though. I had the same scene, but when Chuck hops out of the ‘vette, he sees a group of children playing nearby. So Chuck doesn’t run, no, he leads the bad guys away from endangering the children. Looked exactly the same, but it was, you know, like ... totally different. 


They had no problem with that.


Welcome to Hollywood.