The previous wound still has a scab on it, and you wanna just rip it off & watch me bleed. Don't you have enough to keep you occupied? Aren't you supposed to be writing filler dialogue for stag films? What, did you run out of challenges?
Okay, the kid gloves are off. This time, it's war.
You must be talking about your feet again, that's the only thing "big" on you, except maybe your nose. It's fitting you bought a car with the word "Mini" in it, I guess the irony would be too much if you got one that had the word "Microscopic" as part of the title.
Don't lose too much sleep over me being unprepared for a battle of wits, the day I can't hold my own against a man whose Alzhiemer's is so bad he could successfully hide his own easter eggs, I'll write my name upside-down. Not only are your shoes older than me, your jokes are as well.
Oh, I forgot to tell you: The hospital called. The last person on earth who thinks you're funny just died.
Puh-Leez. YOU'RE the one who writes such insightful scenes of man-love. One wonders what "Research" you had to do for that. Is that why it smels like Astroglide in your study? Probably so deep in the closet, you're finding Christmas presents.
I can keep up just fine, but since nobody could accuse you of being "Sub-Tile" maybe you better stick to the fish and the barrel. From what I hear, your aim is so bad you couldn't hit a tree if you had an 18-wheeler, an icy road and a monkey named "Bear".
Steve, I really only see one problem here: I like beer & you have no idea what that is. That Oregonian chimpanzee pisswater you have such a long love affair with couldn't get a fly high. I admire your loyalty Old Man, I really do, but prohibition ended decades ago: We can drink REAL beer now. (Also, we no longer use leeches, just thought you should know). Honestly, I TRIED to show you the path of light and right, but you couldn't get a clue if you were covered in clue musk during clue mating season, in a field full of horny clues doing the clue mating dance.
Bobbe, you're good at this game. But the old man buys his electrons by the bushel. If you're going to fight with sharks do it on land. Or at least don't keep jumping into the tank with a pork chop tied around your neck.
Um, Kid, if you are gonna be this lame, you get to get yourself a wheelchair. Maybe a guide dog, while you are at it.
And you really need to do your research. Leeches are all the rage -- it's a multimillion dollar industry.
There's this thing called "Google," you should try it:
http://www.leeches.biz/
If you don't know it, you shouldn't say it. We use maggots, too.
Old style is sometimes just the ticket.
All the man-love stuff? Why, I got that from your diary. Don't you remember? After your threeway tryst with Armando and Mbutu, you didn't notice the diary was gone? Great, if somewhat horrific, material in it. I had to tone it way down, of course, otherwise the censors would have had problems, plus the law would have demanded I reveal your true identity, in the interests of national security and all.
I mean, you brought this up, and you keep, uh, coming back to the subject. Very revealing, Kid.
And your sad devotion to that high-octane beer? Why not just drink rubbing alcohol? Or Sterno? Be cheaper, you'd get a bigger kick, and probably it couldn't taste any worse ...
And, of course, I didn't write Time Was, only the outline upon which it was based, so I'll give you points for researching that one ...
(By the way, any innocent bystanders who might have found this nyah-nyah worrying, fear not. When doin' the dozens, the insults are friendly. You can jive about a man's intellgence, his taste in beer, sexual preferences, and how you got all your info from his wife or mother -- as long as you don't get mean-spirited about it. Not like head-cutting rap, we ain't doing Eminem or Fiddy here.)
Huh, the book says you co-wrote it. Maybe that's why it didn't feel like your style at all. I mean, I don't really get into "Net Force" to be honest, but I can see you're style a lot when you are the main author.
Everybody else should know by now that I have achieved a high ranking in "Whipping Boy", of which Steve is the current style head. If he didn't like me, I wouldn't get so much face time on his blog. Really. No, really.
My participation in "Time Was," a novelization based on a comic book, based on an Asimov idea, came about because the guy hired to write it, Gary Braunbeck, had never written any novel-length science fiction. He was at the time -- and still is -- a terrific short story writer, but the form is different.
He was a little nervous, and the packager who put the deal together was a little nervous.
The packager asked me to do a fairly extensive outline, which was essentially a lesson in pacing and plotting a novel the way I would do it. They figured that would help him keep from getting stuck, and apparently, it did.
I asked them not to put my name on the cover. Braunbeck wrote it, he deserved the credit, and I figured Asimov's name next to his was enough to garner attention. But they thought my name would sell a couple more copies, so they stuck it there.
After the book came out, I went online a few places and gave credit where it was due. Yeah, I helped, and yeah, I read the final ms and pointed out a couple places where I thought the swordwork could be improved, but Braunbeck wrote it.
Often in cases of junior/senior writer, the junior scribe does most of the heavy lifting. I've been on both sides of this one, and there are advantages and disadvantages for each.
There are books I wrote big chunks of, or even all of, that don't have my name on 'em. And a couple where my name is there but somebody else did more work than I did. It balances out.
*SIGH*
ReplyDeleteThe previous wound still has a scab on it, and you wanna just rip it off & watch me bleed. Don't you have enough to keep you occupied? Aren't you supposed to be writing filler dialogue for stag films? What, did you run out of challenges?
Okay, the kid gloves are off. This time, it's war.
War? Why would I want to get into a battle of wits with an unarmed man?
ReplyDeleteOoh, baby1 Yeah! Like that! Ooh! It's so big!
You must be talking about your feet again, that's the only thing "big" on you, except maybe your nose. It's fitting you bought a car with the word "Mini" in it, I guess the irony would be too much if you got one that had the word "Microscopic" as part of the title.
ReplyDeleteDon't lose too much sleep over me being unprepared for a battle of wits, the day I can't hold my own against a man whose Alzhiemer's is so bad he could successfully hide his own easter eggs, I'll write my name upside-down. Not only are your shoes older than me, your jokes are as well.
Oh, I forgot to tell you: The hospital called. The last person on earth who thinks you're funny just died.
Write your name upside down? Well, "X" looks the same if you flip it, so no big deal there ...
ReplyDeletePlus, how would you know what was big on my concealed anatomy? Knowing that would, ah, cast you in a somewhat queer light, wouldn't it?
Jeez, Kid, is that it? That's what you got?
Shooting fish in a barrel with a shotgun ain't any challenge. If you can't fight back, where's the fun in that?
C'mon, Kid! Put down that euro-trash beer and dry out a few brain cells! Okay, okay, a couple -- don't want you to reach too far and hurt yourself ...
Puh-Leez. YOU'RE the one who writes such insightful scenes of man-love. One wonders what "Research" you had to do for that. Is that why it smels like Astroglide in your study? Probably so deep in the closet, you're finding Christmas presents.
ReplyDeleteI can keep up just fine, but since nobody could accuse you of being "Sub-Tile" maybe you better stick to the fish and the barrel. From what I hear, your aim is so bad you couldn't hit a tree if you had an 18-wheeler, an icy road and a monkey named "Bear".
Steve, I really only see one problem here: I like beer & you have no idea what that is. That Oregonian chimpanzee pisswater you have such a long love affair with couldn't get a fly high. I admire your loyalty Old Man, I really do, but prohibition ended decades ago: We can drink REAL beer now. (Also, we no longer use leeches, just thought you should know). Honestly, I TRIED to show you the path of light and right, but you couldn't get a clue if you were covered in clue musk during clue mating season, in a field full of horny clues doing the clue mating dance.
Bobbe, you're good at this game. But the old man buys his electrons by the bushel. If you're going to fight with sharks do it on land. Or at least don't keep jumping into the tank with a pork chop tied around your neck.
ReplyDeleteUm, Kid, if you are gonna be this lame, you get to get yourself a wheelchair. Maybe a guide dog, while you are at it.
ReplyDeleteAnd you really need to do your research. Leeches are all the rage -- it's a multimillion dollar industry.
There's this thing called "Google," you should try it:
http://www.leeches.biz/
If you don't know it, you shouldn't say it. We use maggots, too.
Old style is sometimes just the ticket.
All the man-love stuff? Why, I got that from your diary. Don't you remember? After your threeway tryst with Armando and Mbutu, you didn't notice the diary was gone? Great, if somewhat horrific, material in it. I had to tone it way down, of course, otherwise the censors would have had problems, plus the law would have demanded I reveal your true identity, in the interests of national security and all.
I mean, you brought this up, and you keep, uh, coming back to the subject. Very revealing, Kid.
And your sad devotion to that high-octane beer? Why not just drink rubbing alcohol? Or Sterno? Be cheaper, you'd get a bigger kick, and probably it couldn't taste any worse ...
Yeah, well...You're Stoopid! And you have smelly feet! And no sense of taste!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I didn't like "Time Was".
Stick that in yer pipe and smoke it.
Ah, now the razor wit comes out!
ReplyDeleteAnd, of course, I didn't write Time Was, only the outline upon which it was based, so I'll give you points for researching that one ...
(By the way, any innocent bystanders who might have found this nyah-nyah worrying, fear not. When doin' the dozens, the insults are friendly. You can jive about a man's intellgence, his taste in beer, sexual preferences, and how you got all your info from his wife or mother -- as long as you don't get mean-spirited about it. Not like head-cutting rap, we ain't doing Eminem or Fiddy here.)
Huh, the book says you co-wrote it. Maybe that's why it didn't feel like your style at all. I mean, I don't really get into "Net Force" to be honest, but I can see you're style a lot when you are the main author.
ReplyDeleteEverybody else should know by now that I have achieved a high ranking in "Whipping Boy", of which Steve is the current style head. If he didn't like me, I wouldn't get so much face time on his blog. Really. No, really.
That's what I keep telling myself, anyway...
My participation in "Time Was," a novelization based on a comic book, based on an Asimov idea, came about because the guy hired to write it, Gary Braunbeck, had never written any novel-length science fiction. He was at the time -- and still is -- a terrific short story writer, but the form is different.
ReplyDeleteHe was a little nervous, and the packager who put the deal together was a little nervous.
The packager asked me to do a fairly extensive outline, which was essentially a lesson in pacing and plotting a novel the way I would do it. They figured that would help him keep from getting stuck, and apparently, it did.
I asked them not to put my name on the cover. Braunbeck wrote it, he deserved the credit, and I figured Asimov's name next to his was enough to garner attention. But they thought my name would sell a couple more copies, so they stuck it there.
After the book came out, I went online a few places and gave credit where it was due. Yeah, I helped, and yeah, I read the final ms and pointed out a couple places where I thought the swordwork could be improved, but Braunbeck wrote it.
Often in cases of junior/senior writer, the junior scribe does most of the heavy lifting. I've been on both sides of this one, and there are advantages and disadvantages for each.
There are books I wrote big chunks of, or even all of, that don't have my name on 'em. And a couple where my name is there but somebody else did more work than I did. It balances out.
That's how the game is played sometimes ...