Friday, October 06, 2006

Doctor, Doctor, What you say?

So, my ear is all healed up, my cold waning, and I should be back to what passes for normal soon.

My physical exam whilst at the doc's was fine. I'm in good shape, she says, for a man my age.

Oh, I hate that phrase. I prefer, "You're in great shape!" Period. Last time I banged up a knee and went to see a doctor, six, seven years ago, he asked me, "How'd you do this." Well, I said, either when the dog sidewiped me or doing squats.

And he said, "Squats? A man your age ought not to be doing squats!"

Hey, I said, I'm not a man my age!

Blood pressure is the same as when I first checked it in tenth grade biology class. Weight is actually a bit less than it has been for the past twenty-five years -- same size jeans I wore in high school. Resting pulse of sixty. No lumps or bumps that are gonna cool me immediately evident, ah, but the bloodwork showed my triglycerides are higher than they should be. And total cholesterol isn't really high, but it is heading that way ...

For those of you who don't know from triglycerides and cholesterol, suffice it to say that they get high from too much southern cooking -- i.e., fats, and this is a bad thing.

Not a serious case of biscuit-poisoning -- too many biscuits -- no Dunlap's Disease -- that's when your belly done lapped over your belt --but I would be wise if I cut out junk food, and of course, anything deep-fat fried. Ditto the black walnut Haagen Dazs, the six eggs fried in butter, and the potato chips and cookies and cake and chocolate candy and, well, you get the idea ...

Ah, well. I'm six or eight pounds over my best fighting weight. Guess that's going away. Given the way I normally eat, I'm guessing that will take ... what time is it now? Yeah, about twenty-four hours ...

2 comments:

  1. Look, I just want to say this: After 30, we ain't as resilient as we were in our...*AHEM*..youth. There's a saying I have recently become acquainted with: When you hit 30, 30 hits back. Every year that I get deeper into my 30's I am finding more truth to this. My metabolism has slowed down considerably in the past 7 years, that's for sure.

    My knees are popping WAY more nowadays then back in my 20's. I need at least an hour of yoga every morning to keep my body tuned up & limber enough to train. I can't go on all-weekend booze-ups, or eat an entire fried chicken smothered in hot sauce anymore. My doctor said that I would have to cut WAY back on my curry-saturated foods if I wanted to live to see 45 (I'm 36 now). That goes double for the Guinness beer that I love so much.

    ON THE OTHER HAND, you could just ignore your doctor. I'm serious, a lot of people cross the finish line with a smile on thier lips instead of tofu on thier tongues. One last beer, one more cigarette, a final drumstick & it's "farewell & adieu, you fair Spanish ladies". And that's just how they want it.

    Me, well, I haven't decided yet. God, do I love curry. And Guinness.

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  2. Thing is, long ago and far away, I used to work in a doctor's office as a PA-C, which is kind of halfway between nurse, doctor, and technician, and managed to learn the rudiments of western medicine. No depth, but a certain familiairity. And I fancy I know more about diet and exercise than most doctors, certainly the ones in the clinic where I worked I did.

    So, in this case, the doc ain't telling me anything I don't already know, she's just confirming it with tools I didn't have ready access to -- them bloodwork labs are expensive. (Once you have a good idea of exactly where you might have a problem, you can get home tests to monitor it and save yourself visits to the clinic.)

    And in truth, most moderately-educated Americans paying attention know enough about diet and exercise to know what's what. That big ole double cheeseburger wrapped in bacon and served up with a large order of fries aren't doing you any good past the taste, and you know it.

    If there was a pill that would let you live longer, have a better quality of life, feel more energetic, be stronger and faster and smarter, and you could afford it, chances are real good you'd take it if you could.

    There is. It's called diet and exercise, only it also requires discipline most people just don't have.

    A lot of people don't cross the finish line -- they get cut down before their time, leaving behind kids to raise, spouses to grieve, and potential wasted because they knew how to take better care of themselves but didn't. Their choices, of couse, but if you are part of a family or community, what you do does affect others.

    Something to think about.

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