Right Speech

The Buddhists have things like the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path and all like that as underpinnings of their moral and ethical system. Can’t really call it a religion, since the concept of a deity doesn’t apply — you can believe in God or not, it doesn’t matter to the rest of it.

Um. Anyhow, the path has a lot of “right” ways to function in it — right livelihood, right action, right thought, and so on, and one of them is “right speech.” Recently, I came across an article that laid out three criteria for right speech that I thought were most useful.

Before bespeaking matters of import, consider your comments in these lights:

1) Is it true?

2) Is it necessary?

3) It is kind?

Most of the time, I have no trouble with the first two. If I didn't believe a thing is true, then why would I bother to say it? I write fiction, I get to lie all I want, and even then, the made-up stuff has to have some core of truth to it.

And in the context of a conversation, I also wouldn’t say something if I didn’t think it was necessary.

So, right off the bat, two out of three.

The last one is trickier. “Kind” in this instance doesn’t mean not giving offense, nor does it mean selflessness. “Kind” here, I think, means sometimes the best thing to say to offer education or advancement. If you have a piece of spinach between your teeth and you are going to a job interview, telling you might be embarrassing, but it is definitely kinder than not. It is for your own good.

If I believe your haircut makes you look so bad you won’t get the job, better to say so than let it pass. If you are dressed inappropriately. If you are bogarting a joint in your stoned lips ...

I think maybe “kind” also goes to intent, and that's where I tend to fail that part of the test. If my idea of education is to point out to somebody how stupid they are being, that’s not kindness. Although I can rationalize that as, "Well, if he knows he's saying stupid stuff, maybe he won't say it and that's to the good side. 'Better to be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt,' and all like that. I'll know he's stupid, but maybe nobody else will."

Thing is about stupid people is, if you could convince them of the error of their ways with a couple of well-chosen words, then they wouldn't be stupid, ipso facto.

Ignorance is easily cureable, you just provide knowledge, presto; stupid, unfortunately, goes all the way to the bone ...

Ah, well. The road to self-realization is, as the Lovin' Spoonful said, not always easy, it's not always kind ...