tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29640480.post6681294575422295644..comments2024-03-21T18:54:06.548-07:00Comments on Old Enough to Know Better: Memory's NooseSteve Perryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12079658447270792228noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29640480.post-23416640306044324012014-11-21T10:13:07.171-08:002014-11-21T10:13:07.171-08:00First time I've ever left a comment online--Th...First time I've ever left a comment online--Thank you for an excellently written, reflective commentary about what constitutes a healthy friendship.<br />I greatly appreciate your blog and books, and thank you for your willingness to put all manner of thoughts up on my computer screen and in my hands.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29640480.post-48202250961611060262014-11-19T08:38:17.667-08:002014-11-19T08:38:17.667-08:00took years of me repeatedly telling my sister to &...took years of me repeatedly telling my sister to "stop!, no you're wrong" (and I've never changed my responses) before I got the "we grew up in the same house but different worlds/memories" kiss off email from her, to get her to stop trying to rewrite and dredge up old history. it was hard not to reply but if that's what it took to get her to leave me alone, fine she can have the last word. bliss ever since. Steve, you went far and beyond. If a friendship, let alone a relative, takes that much personal concession, not much value in keeping that friendship<br />Steve VHAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29640480.post-25024990295455635262014-11-16T23:03:26.785-08:002014-11-16T23:03:26.785-08:00Obviously I don't know the real details, so I ...Obviously I don't know the real details, so I could be wrong but....<br /><br />It would not have fixed it for her if you did what she said. She has a hole that needs to be filled, and anything you do will disappear into that hole, and she'd need you to do something more. And something more. And for you to find people to throw into the hole for her (because if you don't, you aren't really her friend).<br /><br />And, like a drunk, she won't stop until she hits bottom and can't call on anybody to revise facts (or whatever it is she thinks she need) and is forced to actually deal with it.<br /><br />I wouldn't say this, if the denial hasn't been going on so long. I do believe that people going through a bad time do need to be "enabled" a little while they heal, but if they don't heal, more enabling isn't going to work. (I also suspect this isn't actually major depression, but something else that major depression is masking.)The Daring Novelisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01676188266569869059noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29640480.post-10704138941953667422014-11-16T21:59:21.555-08:002014-11-16T21:59:21.555-08:00I have found that there is only so much logic and ...I have found that there is only so much logic and reason that mental illness allows in. Sounds like you did a hell of a lot more for her than most people would have.Krisnoreply@blogger.com